North Korea, Best Korea!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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