Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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