the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this will be a night to untag.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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