did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
