You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
