DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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