I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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