I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
