maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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