haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
