i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
