I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
