In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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