I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
