and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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