White coat. Heels.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize