Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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