Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
