How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
