I love black thongs
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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