he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
