You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
