Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
