guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
