im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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