She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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