Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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