i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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