all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
