When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize