Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
