FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
