i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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