so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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