i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What drink are we having for lunch?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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