Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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