we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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