she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
