this beer tastes like vomit already
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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