she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
