is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
