i would one night stand the shit outta him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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