So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
