I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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