After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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