make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
