Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
