Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
