wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
