Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
