Dual....:-)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
