the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize