she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
