im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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