She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
either way he was missing a nipple.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
