I think my fart just growled at me.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She bit a glass in half.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
