She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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