I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
