I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
