let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
