By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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