Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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