So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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