is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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