I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
