I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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