Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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