Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
